I Find You're Gone
by Scoopy
Summary: Lucius finds that Narcissa has left. This makes him realize some things about himself and his marriage. Follows my other Oneshot I Find You're Here. please read that first.


Disclaimer--I do not own anything having to do with Harry Potter, nor do I own the song "Find You're Gone" by Wolfsheim. Thank You. 

A/N--This oneshot directly follows my other oneshot "I Find You're Here." You should read that one before this one. It may help. Thanx!

**I Find You're Gone**

_When I wake up I find you're gone  
There should be grief but I feel none_

Lucius was in the midst of a perfect slumber, when it was interrupted by the wards of the Malfoy Manor. He jerked awake, wildly looking around his bedroom. He reached over to the other side of his bed to wake his wife, if she wasn't awake already. When his hand came into contact with the cold satin sheets, he looked to that side of the bed. Narcissa wasn't there.

Turning away from the bed, he picked up his wand from the side table and flicked it lazily in the air. The noise from the disrupted wards stopped immediately. Another swish of his wand and the reason for the disruption was being played out like a movie in front of him.

Apparation. By Narcissa Malfoy. Down by the lake, but not far enough to not set off the anti-apparation wards.

Lucius let out the breath he didn't know he was holding in. At least it wasn't anything else.

_I'm trying to leave the night behind  
I hardly get my thoughts in line_

Last night had been his 30th wedding anniversary. Guess where he had gone? If you guessed that he spent the night with another woman, you would be correct.

He had wanted to re-create his wedding night, but knew that Narcissa wouldn't ever do anything so extreme again. Lucius stepped into the shower and let the water run over his face. Maybe he had screwed up pretty big with that last night.

_But there is one thing I could say  
It seems I'm glad  
__I find you're gone_

There was one thought that kept surfacing in his mind. Was there a hickey on her neck last night? When he came home from his "special" night out, he had decided to etch his wife into his memory. When his eyes traveled along her face and neck, he had thought he saw a faint bruise. Now thinking back upon that, he knew it was a hickey.

So she had had the same thoughts as he did. Tricky woman, that one was.

_I find you're gone...  
I find you're gone..._

Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed a towel and walked over to the sink area to finish his bathroom routine. He pulled the towel from his face to find that there were no perfume bottles littering the counter. Nor were there any makeup containers around.

"Shit." He had _really_ screwed up this time.

He quickly walked from the bathroom to the dressing room he had shared with his wife. Three quarters of it was now empty. She really outdid herself with this.

_You know it's wrong... you know the way...  
But do you really want to stay?_

He couldn't really blame her for wanting out of this marriage. He knew he had treated her like shit over the years. There was an explanation for that, though. Like any other Malfoy, his father beat it into him that he was in charge, he could do what he wanted. No other person, even his wife, could change that.

_A sudden thought  
__A thing to mind  
It would be only wasting time_

Seeing the dressing room almost completely empty made him actually miss Narcissa. He thought about their marriage as he made his way down to his study. Grabbing a bottle of Fire whiskey off of a shelf, he flicked his wand at the fireplace and sat in a plush chair in front of the warm fire.

Suddenly, little snippets from throughout his marriage pushed into his mind. All of the little signs he missed from his wife that she wasn't happy, and that he, too, wasn't happy in the marriage.

He knew that if he ever saw her again, it would only make it worse to try to talk to her, to get anything back. Maybe he actually wanted his wife at this time, instead of some two-cent whore.

_No matter how hard you will try  
It's just a feeling passing by_

Lucius was almost finished with the first bottle of Fire whiskey, and _acio_-ed another over to him. He wanted to drown himself this day. His wife leaving him was a very low blow to his ego, and most importantly, to his emotions. For a minute, he thought he actually felt love for Narcissa. As soon as the feeling came, it flew away as his drunken mind changed thoughts.

_I won't say that it's true  
That I'm here to stick with you_

If someone had told her that he was going to leave her, they would be killed on the spot if he ever saw them. He would never have left Narcissa. As he kept thinking about it, he really did love his wife. Maybe those other woman he was always with were just reminders to himself that he could get anyone he wanted. Yet right at home, he had the best of the best, and no one could take that away from him. Until she left him herself.

_You know, for me it's just a game  
And that you're not the one to blame_

When Lucius had finished off his fourth bottle, he dropped the empty onto the oriental rug beneath his feet. His head rolled around on the back of the chair. For some reason, he couldn't get his wife out of his head.

"Nar-sis-aaah, Where haf you gone, my lof?" His words were slurring together, but he knew not of this. All he wanted at this moment was his wife, the wife that he had loved throughout his whole marriage, but never knew it.

Lucius suddenly started sobbing. Big, fat tears quickly fell down his face. The sound of the crying led another person to Lucius's study. He never heard this person open the door, or walk in. This person watched him as he cried. He cried for his lost wife, for the marriage he had always wanted, but had drove it away himself.

He was nearing the end of his tears when he felt a pair of hands tentatively brush against his shoulders. He looked up and saw the beautiful face of his wife, Narcissa.

"My wife, my bootiful wife." Lucius wrapped his arms around her hips and pressed her against him, so as to never let her go. "Nefer leef." He looked up into her face, and saw tears silently falling down her face.

"I love you so much," he whispered in a sober voice, as he reached up with a hand and wiped away a tear with his thumb. This made Narcissa cry even harder.

She knelt down so that she was almost face-to-face with him. She leaned forward and whispered to him, "I love you, too, but you are drunk. You won't remember anything that you are saying tomorrow." This brought out another sob from herself. "I'm leaving you now. There is a note on your desk from me. Do not try to follow me." She gave him one last kiss, then stood up.

Lucius tried to grab her again, but she moved away quickly. She made her way to the fireplace, threw Floo powder into it, and suddenly vanished from his sight.

The next morning, the houseelves had called the Ministry to the Malfoy Manor. It seems that Lucius Malfoy turned his wand to himself. Next to his body was the note from Narcissa.

_You do realize it was only a game for me? Nothing that you did during our marriage is the reason for me leaving you. I just finished playing the game. You are not to blame. I did love you. Goodbye, Lucius._

_Narcissa Malfoy_


End file.
